'It was a cold day on the shores of the Black Sea when she first felt her heart beat. She knew she had met the man she would elope with. So she did. And she grew a moustache.'
'After three months of marital bliss, she realised that she could never love the kind of man who listened to electronic music and bought apples only to let them go floury in the fruit bowl.'
'So she fled back to Transylvania. Got an office job. And bought a sausage dog. Fin.'
Anooke – you are divine.